


Bruises

by AmaranthPrincess21



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthPrincess21/pseuds/AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coerced into an unhappy and abusive relationship by your Commander, you must find the strength to save yourself and set your life in the right direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request from AbbitsaChan from DeviantArt.

“Keep moving guys! You all look great! Just remember to have good posture and you’re golden!” you yelled out, watching as your squad flew past you on their gear. It was a warm, sunny day and you decided to take advantage of that. Instead of having your squad holed up in the castle on such a beautiful day, you had them running maneuvers outside. “Ymir, you’re slouching again!” you shouted at the freckled teen. She sighed and rolled her eyes, but straightened her back. _All right, she’s got it, Reiner’s got it, Krista . . . ehh . . ._ “Krista, keep your center strong so you don’t wobble around!” _Man, I’ve never seen her shaky before. Usually she’s pretty good in gear._

“Sorry, Squad Leader!” she shouted, trying to shift her balance back to her center. She overcorrected and nearly leaned too far left. _Shit! She’s going to hit that tree!_ You didn’t have to think about springing into action. Your body moved on its own accord as you saw Krista lose control and fly towards a tree. Your arms wrapped around her waist before doing a sharp hairpin turn. Her grappling hooks came out of the tree as you propelled the two of you away from the tree. You touched ground and put Krista down. She faltered and clung to you for support. 

“S-sorry, I-I-I just don’t feel . . . feel that great,” she said. _Yeah, well I don’t either, honey,_ you thought sympathetically. Your heart pounded painfully in your chest. 

“She was throwing up this morning and we all told her to go to the nurses but she refused,” Ymir piped up, touching down beside you two. _Of course._

“Krista what am I going to do with you?” you sighed. She mumbled something and stared at her feet. “Come on, let’s get you to the nurses’ offices. Reiner, you’re in charge!” you yelled to the burly teenager. “Just practice maneuvering through the dense forest until I come back, all right?” The cadets agreed and went back to training before you even left them. 

“I don’t get it. Why did you try to do maneuvers when you’re sick?” you asked her. 

“I didn’t feel like I had a good enough excuse to skip out on training,” she replied. 

“Krista, if you’re ever sick, just tell me and take a breather. Your health comes before training, all right? Don’t try this again,” you gently scolded her. 

“Yes, Squad Leader [First],” she said. The rest of the walk to the nurses’ offices was silent and Krista willingly turned herself over to the physicians. You walked down the corridor, slowly exhaling as you made your way back to your squad to finish up training. The sharp click-clack of your boots against the wood floor echoed in the empty hallway. Another pair of shoes could be heard behind you, but you didn’t look behind you to see who it was. 

“Squad Leader [First], I need to talk to you for a moment.” You froze up, the deep voice paralyzing you with fear. _Oh God, it’s_ him, you thought. Turning on your heel, you smiled at Commander Erwin and gave him a salute. 

“Hello, sir,” you said faux-cheerfully. “What seems to be the problem?” 

“Can you step in my office for a moment?” he asked. 

“Of course, Commander,” you obliged. As he led you into his office your heart raced as pure fear raced through your veins. _What did I do? How did I piss him off? Did I piss him off? Or has he come to his senses and is going to give me a well-deserved apology?_ But as he grabbed your shoulder and threw you into his office, it was apparent he was no giving you any kind of apology. 

“What was that about?” he demanded, shutting and locking his office door. 

“What are you talking?” you asked quietly, locking up your muscles so they couldn’t tremble. 

“You were walking with Cadet Lenz.” He stormed towards you and gripped your wrists. 

“Sir, that hurts,” you complained. He didn’t loosen his grip. 

“I told you to call me Erwin when we’re alone,” he scolded you, blue eyes piercing your skin as he glared at you. 

“Erwin, please let go of me. It hurts,” you told him. 

“I’ll let go of you once you explain what you were doing with Cadet Lenz. I thought I made it very clear that you weren’t allowed to spend time alone with anyone but myself,” he said. 

“She got hurt during training so I took her to the nurses,” you explained. His long fingers let go of your wrists. _Thank Go –_ His hand slapped your waist, sending a sharp pain like being pricked by needles through your skin. 

“I don’t care that your subordinate got hurt,” he said coldly as you bit back tears. “I told you you’re not allowed to be alone with _anyone_ and I expect you to obey my orders. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Erwin,” you replied quietly. Your [e/c] eyes stung as tears pooled in them. 

“Good. Now leave. You have to go resume training with your squad.” 

_Why does it always have to be like this,_ you wondered as you unlocked his door and hurried away from him. _What did I do that was so bad the universe decided to punish me by being targeted by that awful son of a bitch?_

“Hey Squad Leader Dumbass, get your ass over here.” _Great, and now I’ve got Levi on my back,_ you thought with disgust as his familiar baritone filled the hallway. _What if Erwin catches us together? What will he do? Shit, I can’t deal with this right now!_

“Fuck off, Captain Short Shit,” you growled, pushing past him. 

“Oi, I’m trying to have a conversation with you.” He followed behind you, trying to catch up with you. 

“Yeah and I’m not interested in having a conversation with you,” you replied. _I’ll talk to him later, when I’m in the mood for talking and when I’ll be able to enjoy it. Not when I’m like this._

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he demanded, quickly matching your pace and striding beside you. “I was outside and saw Reiner Braun leading your squad in training. I can’t believe you put one of your subordinates in charge while you went off with your boyfriend?” You internally cringed at Levi calling Erwin your boyfriend, although he was technically correct. 

“I had to go take one of my girls to the nurses. I wasn’t sneaking off with the Commander. Get off my case,” you replied coldly, refusing to look him in the face. 

“It was still a fucking stupid decision,” he continued on. “I dismissed them all from training and if I see you’ve left a rookie in charge again I’m going to Erwin. I’ve covered your ass too many times this month.” Your stomach fell to the floor at the mention of Levi going to Erwin. 

“Fine, just shut up and leave me alone,” you said quietly, quickening your pace. 

“What’s wrong with you? You’re not usually this bitchy,” he commented, grabbing your shoulder. Pain shot through your veins as he touched a bruise from the previous night. Your body flinched and Levi immediately let go. 

“I’m tired and sweaty. I’m not in the mood to put up with your bullshit Levi, all right?” you said, only partially lying. 

“Hey, is everything all right here?” You and Levi turned to see Hange poking her head out of a supply room. 

“Levi’s giving me shit again,” you explained. She grinned, chuckling. 

“Levi, c’mon. We all know you wanna hit that ass but you have to stop giving her crap for the smallest things,” Hange said, joining you two in the hallway. 

“I don’t wanna ‘hit that ass,’” Levi defended himself, folding his arms in front of his chest. You couldn’t help but feel a hard tug on your heart. After all, you did like him even though he annoyed the living hell out of you most of the time. “I was trying to -” 

“ – Get with that fine piece of lady, I know, I know,” Hange said, putting her hands up. “But this great piece of ass is with another guy, remember?” 

“Hange!” you said, a grin finding its way onto your face. 

“I’m not trying to pick up [First], Shitty Glasses,” Levi said. “I’m just trying to instill some fucking discipline in her.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Hange waved away his words. 

“It’s been fantastic talking with you two, but I’ve really got to take a shower. I’ll see you both later,” you said, giving them a short wave before walking off. 

“See you [First]! If Levi tries to get up in your business let me know and I’ll break his dick off!” Hange called out cheerfully, followed by a long stream of swears from Levi. 

  


_God, I wish these bruises would heal already,_ you thought angrily, rubbing the soap over the dark purple and dirty yellow spots on your skin as you showered alone. You didn’t even dare try to touch the angry red hand print embedded on your waist, or the recent eggplant purple bruises all over your hips. Ever since Erwin had made you his girlfriend, bruises dotted your skin like large, discolored freckles. _Why do I let him do this to me? I’m stronger than him, hell I could take him out if I wanted to! So why do I always fucking freeze up when he’s near me? Why am I so fucking helpless?_ A sob escaped your aching throat. _Stop it! Stop crying! He’ll see your red eyes and get mad again, like he did the last time this happened._

You turned the water and wiped yourself down with your threadbare towel. The towel was soaked in seconds and since you were alone, you decided to forgo wearing it and just walk out into the main room naked. After all, you were the final person to shower. No one else had a reason to be in there. _Except for maybe someone having to use the bathroom,_ you thought. You got out of your shower stall and took your clothes off of the hook on the door and started getting dressed. You had just pulled your panties on when the creaking of the bathroom’s door cut through the silence of the room. _Shit._ You hurriedly pulled on your bra, eyes shifting over to the door to see who had entered. Your face drained of color. 

“Levi, get the fuck out of here! This is the women’s bathroom!” you shrieked, balling up your towel and throwing it at him. He dodged it, ignoring you and walking to the supply cabinet. 

“I’m not an idiot, I know where I am. Petra’s having her debilitating cramps again and I’m grabbing some pads for her because she can’t breathe without it hurting, let alone get up and get them herself,” he explained, opening the cabinet and taking out a few pads. His grey-blue eyes flickered over to you, and for a split second you thought they widened. 

“Don’t look at me, pervert!” you shouted, eyes shooting daggers at him. 

“Where the hell did all those bruises come from? Don’t tell me you’re that clumsy,” he said, taking a step towards you. You halted him, motioning for him to stay away. “And shit, are those cuts?” 

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you said darkly, pulling your pants on. 

“How did you get those, [First]?” he asked, an edge in his voice that was sharper than steel. 

“I said don’t worry about it,” you repeated, giving him a deadly glare. He kept staring, eyes slowly assessing every single wound on your body. You sighed exasperatedly. “You like what you see?” you asked sardonically, popping one of your hips. His eyes flitted back up to yours. 

“I’ve seen better,” he replied with the ghost of a grin, turning on his heel and walking out. 

  


_Knock, knock, knock._ You looked up from your paperwork, loathingly eyeing your office door. 

“What?” you called out. 

“Let me in. I have something for you,” Levi’s baritone voice carried through the door. 

“Just leave it at the door and go,” you told him. 

“Why can’t I come in? Are you naked or something?” he asked. Your face flared with heat. 

“No. I just don’t have time for this. Whatever you need to give me, just – hey!” Levi opened the door and walked in, a small jar and some bandages in hand. He placed them on your desk before turning on his heel. _He brought me all this?_ “Levi, wait.” He paused, glancing over his shoulder at you. “Why’d you bring me all of this?” 

“Those injuries looked like they needed something to help them heal faster,” he said. 

“Thank you,” you told him. 

“Like I’m going to let those injuries go unattended,” he said with a shrug. You opened the small jar of ointment. _This should help a lot. But how am I gonna get this on my back,_ you wondered. 

“Hey, Levi? Could you help me put this on my back?” you asked. 

“Just how many bruises and cuts do you have?” His eyes narrowed as he spoke. 

“Too many,” you answered, unbuttoning your shirt and pulling it off. 

“And how did you get all these bruises?” he inquired, finger dipping into the jar before smoothing out the cool ointment over your back. 

“Tripped down a flight of stairs,” you lied without thinking, getting some of the medicine and smearing it over your arms. His hand gently grabbed your hair and held it away from your neck as his cool fingers slathered ointment onto your angry red bruises. 

“If you got these another way, you know you’re free to tell me and I won’t judge,” he said quietly. 

“What, you think I’m lying?” you demanded. 

“Yes. The [First] I know isn’t clumsy enough to fall down a flight of stairs. And I know from personal experience that being thrown down stairs doesn’t get you this many bruises.” You bit your lip and for a split second you considered telling Levi what was going on. But you kept your mouth shut. If Erwin knew you had said something, he wouldn’t be happy. 

“I’d rather not say,” you replied softly. He sighed, but said nothing. The silence was deafening and you quickly searched for a way to end it. “You know what I really miss? When we used to spar together.” 

“Yeah, I miss kicking your ass,” he replied. You laughed. 

“Excuse me but I managed to floor you quite a few times,” you reminded him. 

Would I have gotten into this mess if I had asked Levi out all that time ago? Or would Erwin just force me to go behind Levi’s back?

A sort of emptiness filled your heart, one that demanded to be filled. Erwin would never fill the void; you suspected he wasn’t capable of giving legitimate love. But Levi, he could fill the void. He was the only person you _wanted_ to fill the void. 

“You have any other bruises?” he asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yes, but I can get to those,” you said. 

“All right. If you run out of ointment, come to my office and get some more,” he informed you. 

“Okay, I will,” you said. He turned to walk out when you hand grabbed his, pulling him into a kiss. He didn’t pull away like you expected. He kissed you back, soft lips clumsily pressing back into yours. It was as if a floodgate in your heart had been broken as the ugly empty feeling was replaced with warm, tender love. Erwin would surely kill you if he found out, but you ignored it in order to relish the delicious feeling of Levi’s lips against yours and his hands gently rubbing the skin left unmarked by Erwin’s hands. 

The feeling of Levi’s lips sent you into a euphoric state of mind and the feeling lasted long after he had stopped kissing you and lingered as the two of you were preoccupied with something different but just as passionate. 

  


“Hey, [First]!” Hange let herself into your office, grinning slyly. It was early morning and watery sunlight filtered into your office. “I saw Levi sneaking out of your office this morning. Don’t tell me you’ve broken it off with Erwin and already back on the horse with Captain Short Stack.” 

“No, no! Levi and I just had some things to discuss early this morning is all,” you said hurriedly. Hange chuckled. 

“All right, all right. I believe you,” she said. “Anyway, I’m here to tell you that Erwin wants to see you in his office right now. He looked like it was urgent.” _Oh no. Fuck, how did he find out?_

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Hange,” you replied, quickly leaving her and heading up to Erwin’s office. _This is it. I’m not going to put up with Erwin’s bullshit anymore. I need to fight back. I’m going to tell him it’s over and that if he touches me again I’ll cut his arm off._ You knocked on his door, trying to collect yourself. 

“Name and business?” Erwin asked. 

“It’s Squad Leader [First]. Hange said you wanted to talk to me,” you replied. 

“Come in and shut the door behind you,” he said. You took a deep breath and stepped inside his office, slowly shutting the door behind you. 

“What seems to be the issue, Erwin?” you asked, folding your arms across your chest. 

“What were you doing with Levi in your office yesterday?” he demanded, sapphire eyes flashing with anger. 

“He brought me some medicine for my bruises and helped me take care of them,” you said. There was no point in adding you’d slept with him; that’d just make Erwin angrier. 

“I tried to be understanding, [First],” he said, standing up and walking towards you. “I gave you more than one warning about being alone with other people. But despite that you continued to go against my orders.” 

“You can’t control my life like this anymore, Erwin,” you told him. “I never wanted this in the first place and I’m not going to take shit from you any longer.” His hand smacked you hard in the face, nearly knocking you over. 

“We aren’t over until I say we are, [First],” he said, pulling his hand back to strike you again. Fear pulsed through your veins as you prepared to grab his fist and pull him to the ground. The sound of the door opening caught your attention for a split second, letting Erwin to punch you straight in the face as Levi entered the room. The force of the impact sent you straight to the ground. 

“What the hell’s going on here?” Levi asked in a dangerous voice. His eyes flickered down to yours. “So this is how you got those bruises, [First]?” You remained silent, looking down to the ground. Levi extended his hand to you and you took it, letting him help you up. He gave Erwin a downright murderous look before helping you out of his office. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that’s what was going on with you Erwin?” Levi asked as the two of you entered his office. He locked the door behind you as you sat down on his sofa. 

“Like I was going to tell someone I let the Commander toss me around like a doll or something,” you replied with a scowl. 

“I don’t know how we’re going to take care of this, but I’ll help you protect yourself. I’ll be your backup when you need it,” he said, sitting beside you. Your hand found his, giving it a light squeeze. For the first time in months, you felt safe. No, not just safe; genuinely loved. 

“Thank you.”


End file.
